Strategies for Managing High-Conflict Divorces in South Carolina

What is a High-Conflict Divorce?

Whenever possible, it is preferable to avoid a contested, high-conflict divorce. However, sometimes circumstances beyond our control make an uncontested divorce impossible. Several factors may lead to a contested divorce becoming a high-conflict divorce, resulting in emotional disputes, negative behavior, and refusals to compromise on the simplest of issues in a divorce case.

Some of the factors that may result in a high-conflict divorce include the following:

• All-or-nothing thinking
• An erratic approach to divorce proceedings, including matters such as finances or negotiating parenting plans
• Attempts to restrict one spouse’s access to finances
• Breaches of mutually made agreements or court orders
• Contested child custody disputes
• Financial well-being, retirement savings, real estate property, and other assets
• High-conflict personalities
• Infidelity
• Inability to hear or accept the other spouse’s perspective on the relationship
• Inability to understand how adult conflict is impacting the children
• Lying
• One spouse pursues a new romantic relationship
• Pushing for divorce litigation
• Refusal to compromise or cooperate
• Revenge
• Speaking in dramatic extremes
• The constant pursuit of attention or sympathy during divorce proceedings
• The spouses are unable to communicate without arguing
• There is a history of abuse or domestic violence

How to Contend with a Contested, High-Conflict Divorce?

You may not be able to turn your contested divorce into an uncontested one, especially if conflict levels are high. However, there are several tips and strategies for how to contend with high-conflict divorces.

During divorce proceedings, you have the option to file for temporary orders that apply specific actions and establish strict boundaries while the divorce case is still   pending. Temporary orders could result in temporary child or spousal support, the creation of a temporary child custody arrangement, limitations on the usage of marital property, and designations for those who live in the marital home.

Attempt to keep your goals and intentions clear and make others aware of them as well. Instead of escalating conflicts, attempt to de-escalate. Don’t demonize one another or argue endlessly. Antagonizing each other doesn’t help anything.

What Are Tips and Strategies for Dealing with High-Conflict Divorce Cases?

Dealing with any divorce is a challenging legal matter, but a high-conflict divorce can be especially difficult. Those dealing with high-conflict divorces in South Carolina are encouraged to follow some of the basic tips and strategies laid out in this article.

How to Lessen Conflict During Divorce Proceedings?

It’s important that you understand your emotions and feelings throughout the divorce process. This is a difficult time in your life that you probably never imagined for yourself, but now you must contend with it both personally and legally.

To lessen conflict during an SC divorce, we encourage our clients to limit communication between spouses to reduce the opportunity for conflict to arise. We recommend keeping all necessary phone calls and text messages simple and polite. If the conversation begins to escalate and get out of control, look for an exit from the discussion until you are both able to speak with calmer heads.

It’s also wise to take some level of responsibility for your part in ending your marriage. After you have learned to take responsibility, manage your anger, and accept accountability during divorce proceedings, it is possible that your soon-to-be ex-spouse may follow suit.

Do You Need the Legal Representation of a Divorce Lawyer?

It is highly recommended that you seek professional legal guidance from an experienced divorce lawyer. Your divorce attorneys can provide valuable legal advice and help you navigate the process so that your high-conflict divorce does not become overwhelming.

In addition to seeking professional legal representation, you may also wish to consider enlisting the help of other professionals, such as counselors, therapists, or mediators.

Have You Established Boundaries?

It’s vital that you set reasonable boundaries and hold firm to those boundaries. Let it be known that certain behaviors from your spouse will not be tolerated, and you will not hear it. Additionally, if something needs to be accomplished by a certain date, we encourage you to be reasonable with your expectations but do not allow your ex-partner to change or ignore the date. Nor should you allow your ex to manipulate you in pursuit of their personal aims.

Are You Cooperating with Your Spouse in Problem Solving?

Our law firm encourages spouses to participate in problem-solving together. If this is possible, it may help your spouse buy into the divorce agreements and smooth things over during divorce proceedings. However, in some cases, we understand that this may be impossible, such as instances where one spouse has personality disorders or a history of domestic abuse.

What Have You Done to Minimize the Impact the Divorce is Having on Your Children?

Always focus on the best interests of your children. Try to maintain a stable home environment for them. Attempt to refrain from poisoning your children against the other parent. Remember, studies have shown that a child’s exposure to conflict from their divorcing parents has been known to have a devastating effect on their mental well-being. Do what you can to limit the impact of your conflict on your minor children.

Are You Telling Everyone About Your Divorce?

Do not broadcast your divorce. Telling everyone around you that you are dealing with a high-conflict divorce could potentially lead to more stress, not less. It may be tempting to vent to anyone who will listen, but it is recommended that you resist those temptations.

Have You Considered Mediation?

Mediation could be a valuable strategy for reaching an agreement with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. In mediation, a neutral third party (the mediator, closed parentheses) works to help the two spouses find common ground in their disagreements.

Are You Maintaining Open Communication with the Other Spouse and Their Lawyers?

While we encourage you to limit communication to the necessary phone calls and texts, do not ignore your spouse. Open communication can encourage cooperation and decency.

Consider using written communication like emails and texts to keep a record of your discussions.

Have You Followed All Court Orders?

If a family law judge issues court orders or agreements, you must adhere strictly to them. Additionally, keep a record of your compliance with court orders to demonstrate your willingness to cooperate.

Are You Keeping Your Expectations in Check?

During a high-conflict divorce, it may be preferable to imagine that your spouse may change and improve their ways in some fashion. But we advise you not to expect your spouse to change their behavior. Filing for divorce rarely results in spouses suddenly having new insights about their bad behaviors.

Are You Taking Care of Yourself and Your Needs?

Self-care can be difficult, especially when we are feeling depressed or stressed out. But it is essential to look after yourself, prioritize your physical and mental well-being, maintain a balanced diet, and lean on friends and family for emotional support. One day, this will all be in the rearview mirror. But until then, try to remain future-focused while also taking care of yourself in the moment.

Schedule an In-Depth Case Evaluation with an Experienced Divorce Attorney Today

Our law firm has extensive experience helping clients through complex family law cases, including the difficulties of high-conflict divorces. To learn more about our legal services, we encourage you to contact our law office to schedule your initial consultation today. To contact our legal team, please call us at 803-266-1812.